Ask Dr. Julie Hanks Podcast: How to Manage Guilt and Shame in Motherhood

In this episode, Dr. Julie Hanks coaches Ali and addresses the question, “How to manage guilt and shame in motherhood?” We use guilt and shame interchangeably in society but they are different things. Guilt is about behavior, whereas shame is about who I am as a person. Guilt says “I feel bad about this specific behavior” and shame says “I am a bad human being. I am worthless. I am no good.”

During this episode, Dr. Hanks talks about how society defines motherhood by always being home and present with your children. There is no right way to be a mother. You will mess up your kids but the goal is to do it unintentionally. Letting go of the idea of perfection in motherhood can help pull you out of the mom guilt cycle. 

5 Ways to Reduce Mom Guilt 

5 Motherhood Myths Making You Miserable

Ted Talk: The Costs of Idealizing Motherhood 

If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast, my online courses, and through new events each month. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and at For therapy in Utah visit

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