What do I do when my friends and family won’t honor my vulnerable faith deconstruction work? Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

In this episode, I talk with Valerie and answer the question “What do I do when my friends and family won’t acknowledge my vulnerable faith deconstruction work?” Valerie is a fellow therapist and podcaster. She has been struggling with negative feedback from strangers about her podcast about faith deconstruction and a lack of feedback from friends and family.

I tell Valerie that any bad reviews from strangers—while difficult to read—are not about her. They are about her work, and she is not her work. Her work is a vulnerable expression of who she is, but it is not who she is.

The same principle applies to her family and friends’ lack of willingness to talk about the topics she covers in her podcast: She is not her work. If someone doesn’t want to talk about her work, it does not mean that they are rejecting her. I invite her to ask her family and friends for what she wants out of their relationship and to create more separation between her self and her work.