How do I know if I want kids because I genuinely want them or because it’s always been expected of me? Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

In today’s episode, I talk with Nicole and answer the question “How do I know if I want kids because I genuinely want them or because it’s always been expected of me?” After a recent break up caused by her partner not wanting to have children, Nicole is hoping to gain some clarity as to what she wants for her future and why.

Nicole and I talk about how to have a meaningful life with or without children, if it matters at the end of the day if she does want kids because it’s what she’s always assumed her future would hold, and how important it is to develop herself in every stage of life. She comes away from our conversation with a clarity on what she wants for her future—give this episode a listen to hear what she decides.

Here’s a snapshot of what you’ll hear when you listen to this episode:

There are some problems with parents looking to kids to fulfill them and give their life meaning. That puts a lot of pressure on you as the kid. That’s not your job. Your life can have meaning with or without kids. You can have fulfilling relationships with or without kids. Can they be a big, important part of your life if you have them? Yes! But they’re not going to give your life meaning, and if you’re looking to your kids for that, it’s not healthy for the parents or the kids