How can I build confidence and not let self-doubt hold me back from achieving my goals?: Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

In this episode, I talk with Stacy and answer the question “How can I build confidence and not let self-doubt hold me back from achieving my goals?” Stacy is studying to become a therapist, and she wants to build up her confidence so that it doesn’t fluctuate based on feedback from other people like her supervisor or family.

Stacy tells me that sometimes she feels that she will have confidence once she’s perfect. We talk about how this equation is setting her up to never feel the confidence she wants. I share that after 30 years as a therapist, if I had to perfect and know everything I would still have no confidence because it’s impossible for me to be perfect. Thinking you have to be perfect before you can be confident actually sets you up for failure! Instead of trying to be perfect, I invite her to examine whether or not she is growing.

Here is a sneak peak at what you’'ll get when you listen to this episode:

“Instead of trying to be perfect, I want you to ask yourself if you're growing and learning. Instead of evaluating if you've arrived, make sure that you are progressing. Let me ask you that: Are you growing? Are you learning new things? Are you heading in a good direction?

”For where you are in the beginning of your career, you have every reason to feel confident in the level of skill that you've developed because you're growing and learning. …

“What if this is exactly where you need to be in your journey of growth? What if there's nothing wrong? Just keep asking yourself if you're growing. That's the goal

”[When you receive feedback you don't agree with,] hold the feedback you're getting in one hand and the feelings and thoughts you have in the other. You don't have to weigh one over the other. You can consider all of it, but ultimately what you feel about yourself is going to more important than the feedback other people give you. You're going to filter the feedback they give through what you feel about yourself.”