The Importance of Emotional Awareness
I have met with so many women in my therapy office who have shut down their emotions because they think it’s the right thing to do. Unhappy emotions—especially anger—seem particularly difficult for women of faith to understand, manage, and express in healthy ways.
But why do we shy away from certain emotions? And is it possible to learn how to accept and appreciate our emotions—even ones that are viewed as difficult or bad?
Most of us weren’t encouraged to identify our emotions at an early age, and even fewer were taught how to express emotions powerfully and effectively. It’s no wonder that we are limited in how we can talk about feelings as adults. We learned as children that we had to be, feel, and act a certain way in particular situations in order to get the love, approval, or attention we wanted.
Naturally, we want to feel more of the good feelings and avoid the bad ones.
But what if instead of trying to feel better, we got better at feeling?
Feeling all of the emotions and learning how to process them, tolerate them, and celebrate them can transform your life. This is all possible through developing emotional awareness.
What is emotional awareness?
Emotional awareness (also called emotional intelligence) is the ability to recognize emotion and use it to improve your life and relationships. It is truly one of the most important skills you can develop as a human being, and yet it is not something we seem to talk about very often.
Emotional awareness is important because of what it can bring to your life. People who understand their emotions are better able to cope with stress, manage relationships with others, and communicate more effectively. When you are more connected to your emotions, you can use them to guide you and propel you into action.
The importance of labeling your emotions
Recognizing and labeling your emotions is one of the first steps to understanding and processing your feelings. When you understand your emotions, you can ask for what you need in a way that brings you closer to and connects you with others.
The simple act of naming our feelings can go a long way in making them more manageable. This Feelings Word List is one resource that can help you begin to label and fine-tune your emotional awareness.
Ways to build emotional awareness
Now that you understand more about what emotional awareness is and why it’s so vital, here are some ways you can work to achieve it in your life:
Acknowledge your emotions
Make a habit of checking in on your emotions throughout the day. You don’t have to wait until you are in an extreme emotional state before acknowledging how you feel—you can tune in throughout the day to acknowledge emotions that may feel more mild like gladness, hesitation, and curiosity.
Sort and label your emotions
There are six basic emotions: happiness, sadness, surprise, fear, disgust, and anger. Do your feelings fall neatly into one of these basic categories?
If not, keep in mind that these basic emotions can be experienced in different combinations and extremities, thus forming new feelings. This is a great time to use the Feelings Word List above to help fine-tune the emotions.
You can also sort your emotions by rating their intensity, writing them down, and writing about how you are feeling.
Manage your emotions in healthy ways
Denying your feelings won’t help you process them or change them. It is important to accept your emotions and give yourself permission to feel them. It can be helpful to share how you are feeling with other people and to reach out to others for support when you need it.
Resources:
The following are resources that can help you in your journey of developing emotional awareness:
The Assertiveness Guide for Women
This book will help you identify your thoughts and feelings, balance your emotions, communicate your needs, and set healthy boundaries to improve your life. It all starts with emotional awareness!
Click here to buy The Assertiveness Guide for Women (commissioned link).
Group Coaching
My Group Coaching Membership exists because I want to support you and help you live a more authentic life. Every month I host multiple live group coaching sessions where we can talk and learn together.
Podcast episodes
How do I let go of others’ emotional burdens? Aly feels like a bad person when she has difficult emotions. Listen as we talk about the importance of processing, talking about, and feeling your emotions.
How do I allow myself to feel anger when others tell me to forgive? Christians often mistakenly think that anger is not Christlike. In this episode, I teach Amanda how feeling anger helps us move forward and process what has happened to us. (TW: sexual assault)
Why don’t I do the things I know would be good for me? I talk with Felicia about caring for herself and her emotions. We discuss how doing what is in her best interest is in the best interest of her family.
How can I feel confident in my life as a single adult in the LDS Church? Feelings of failure, sadness, and loneliness are common when things don’t turn out the way that you had hoped or expected. Listen as I coach Lindsay through these feelings.
Feelings Wheel
Similar to the Feelings List, this feelings wheel has a long list of emotions that you can use to help you identify the precise emotions you are experiencing.
Click here to purchase the Feelings Wheel on Amazon (commissioned link).
