Helpful Phrases For Saying “No”
I recently surveyed more than 600 Utah women and found that 60 percent say they take on more commitments than they can handle, and 68 percent reported they don't say "no" when asked to do something they don't want to do. There are so many demands on your time and energy that saying "no" is crucial to your emotional well-being. Keep reading for a list of helpful ways to say “no” plus a free printable.
Why Is It Hard To Say "No"?
In my therapy office, in group coaching, and in individual coaching, I often hear women say they don't say "no" for various reasons like…
"I don't want to disappoint others."
"I should be able to do it all."
"I want to help."
"If I say 'no' I feel guilty."
"I want to please others."
"I feel pressured by others."
Why It’s Important to Say “No”
While it is true that saying no, even when it’s in our best interest, can be difficult, it’s also true that it’s very important to give an honest no when necessary. Below are reasons why it’s important to say ‘no.’
"No" is an important boundary
It shows that you are a separate person with your own thoughts, feelings and desires. Saying "no" acknowledges that you are different from others and that your voice does matter.
"No" prevents burnout
Saying "no" and setting limits allows you to prevent feeling overwhelmed and becoming overcommitted. We have to pick and choose where to invest our time, energy, and other resources. A wise client once said, "When I say 'no' I'm saying 'yes' to something more important."
"No" helps you get what you want
It is an expression of your sense of self. If you know what you don't want to do, you can identify what you do want.
Tips For Saying "No"
Here are some helpful tips to remember as you work on saying ‘no’ more often.
1) Accept that you have limitations
Everyone has limits to what they want to and can accomplish. It's simply part of being human. Many women feel bad about having limitations of time, energy and prior commitments, just to name a few.
2) "No" is an honorable response
Saying "no" means telling your truth. If you allow yourself to say "no" when you mean it, others will trust that when you say "yes" you also mean it and will follow through.
3) You owe no one an explanation
If you give your week's schedule, or the reasons why you are saying "no", you open up the door for others to rearrange your schedule to accommodate their request or to discount or argue with your reasoning.
Helpful Phrases For Saying ‘No’ Printable
While some may find it difficult to simply say "no" followed by an awkward silence, I really like the phrase "No, that's just not going to work for me" because it softens the "no" without actually giving an explanation. Tap or click here to download my printable list of helpful ways to say no.
Having this printable list nearby will be helpful when you need to decline an invitation or a request for help. Remember, setting boundaries is kind and you are not a mean or rude person for saying ‘no.”
Additional Resources to Help You Say ‘No’
Learn how to be more assertive, and set the boundaries you need in my book, The Assertiveness Guide for Women.
If you’ve read my book and use this list of ways to say no and still struggle with saying no and setting boundaries, it may be time for coaching or therapy.
Contact Wasatch Family Therapy for therapy with my team by calling or texting 801.944.4555 or filling out this contact form. Or go here to schedule an individual coaching session with me.
