How to Value Your Motherhood with Dr. Julie Hanks: About Progress Podcast

I sat down with Monica Packer, host of the About Progress podcast, and had a great discussion about valuing motherhood. 

In LDS culture, we often idealize motherhood instead of valuing it. When we idealize something, we put it on a pedestal. When we value it, we give it realistic expectations and allow mothers to be themselves instead of expecting the way they are a mom to look a certain way. 

Idealizing motherhood does a lot of harm because to fit the idealized version of what a mother is, a mother has to act in a role instead of being her authentic self. When this happens, kids aren’t getting a deep, emotional connection with their mothers. And that’s what kids need. They don’t need a perfect mom; they need an emotional connection.

When we paint an idealized picture of motherhood, it often leads women to neglect themselves, too. An idealized version of motherhood includes statements like “My mother never complained,” “She never had a bad day,” or “She never bought a thing for herself.” That’s not how I’d describe a good mom! Caring for yourself and caring for others are not mutually exclusive.

Here’s what valuing motherhood looks like:

• Valuing your relationship and connection with your children over the role of an idealized mother.

• Valuing yourself as an individual.

• Taking care of yourself. It helps children to see their mothers taking care of themselves because they learn that they need to take care of themselves when they are adults.

• Involving fathers in caregiving.

If you are a mother who has been viewing motherhood through an idealized lens, my course “Rediscovering Yourself While Mothering” is for you. In it we cover topics like:

• How to build in support and advocate for yourself

• How to overcome isolation 

• How to keep your own identity while being a mother and wife

• Establishing boundaries

• Asking for support and adapting your needs

And more. Click here to purchase the course today.