How do I handle the fear of temporal and eternal consequences if I leave the Church?: Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

In this episode I talk with Caitlin and answer the question “How do I handle the fear of temporal and eternal consequences if I leave the Church?” Caitlin’s faith journey has led her to some questions about the LDS Church. But whenever she contemplates leaving, she feels fear. What if she forfeits something by leaving the Church?

As Caitlin and I talk, it becomes clear that a lot of her decisions stem from a place of fear. If the only reason you’re doing something is because you are afraid, your life cannot be very fulfilling. Caitlin and I talk about what she wants from life and what is going to bring her the most joy. I remind Caitlin that no decision is forever. She can choose to step back from the Church and change her mind later if she wants.

Here’s an excerpt of what you’ll hear when you listen to the episode:

We’re taught that [things in life are black and white]. That’s a developmental stage. Kids have to learn safe, unsafe; good person, bad person. And it’s okay to move past that.

Most things—at least in my life—are not good or bad. Instead it’s ‘what do I want?’ What’s going to bring the most joy to the people I care about? I just don’t frame things [as only black or white] anymore. I used to.

What do you want to create with your life? Who do you want to become? Work on that. And the fear goes away. Because it's not "Oh, am I going to do the wrong thing?" It’s “I trust that my heart is good.” What if your heart is good?

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