Blog
25 Things NOT to Say to a Loved One Leaving the LDS Church (& What TO Say Instead)
Finding out that a loved one has stepped away from Church activity or no longer believes in the Gospel can bring up a broad spectrum of emotions. Intense and often painful emotions can make it difficult to know what to say to your loved one about their choice to leave the Church.
The Highest & Holiest Calling: Q.MORE Podcast
I was thrilled to speak with Rosemary Card about motherhood, marriage, and cultural expectations of women within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Going off of my TEDxOgden Talk "The Costs of Idealizing Motherhood," we discussed some of the nuances of what it looks like to be a woman in the Church.
Communicating With Believing Family Members: Marriage On A Tightrope Podcast
I recently sat down with Kattie and Allan of the "Marriage On a Tightrope" podcast to discuss ways to tell your family or loved ones when you or your spouse have experienced a shift or transition in your faith. This can be a very sensitive and painful subject for families, so it's important to broach it in a way that shows respect.
4 Ways To Offer A Sincere Apology: Good Things Utah
Developing a close and healthy relationship with a romantic partner inevitably means that at times, both individuals will take missteps. While it's normal to make mistakes, the way we respond to our own actions and words can either strengthen or detract from the relationship. When you find that you've said or done something wrong, here are some strategies to offer a sincere and meaningful apology:
How To Get Along With In-Laws: Good Things Utah
Marriage is a wonderful change, but it certainly brings some challenges, not just for the couple involved, but also for the in-law relationship dynamic. Here are my top 3 tips for daughter-in-laws and mother-in-laws:
The Three Communication Styles: Good Things Utah
One of the biggest problems in marriage is poor communication. There's so much emotional history and baggage, and both people have thoughts, feelings, and need that can cloud the situation, so it's easy to miss each other. It's important to understand three distinct communication styles and how they can hinder or help our ability to connect with each other.
Answering Your Questions About Balancing Marriage & Motherhood: Good Things Utah
I recently had the opportunity to sit down with my friends at "Good Things Utah" and answer some viewer questions that dealt with balancing a woman's marriage with her motherhood responsibilities. Here are some questions (and my responses to them):
How to Have A Tough Conversation: Good Things Utah
If you have any kind of close relationship, you've almost certainly experienced needing to have a tough conversation. Maybe it's about children, in-laws, unmet expectations, but when concerns arise (and they do), you need to talk about it. But when emotions are high and there's a lot at stake, things can quickly get derailed. Inspired by my research, personal experiences, and my years as a clinician, I've developed an acronym that can be used as a tool to navigate these difficult discussions. It's called "OSCAR."
How Assertiveness Improves Relationships: Beyond The Couch Podcast
In order to understand what assertiveness is, I find that it's helpful to first identify what it isn't, as there are many misconceptions about it: it's not being pushy, aggressive, or demanding. It also doesn't just mean speaking your mind or telling people what you think. Instead, assertiveness refers to reflecting on your emotional history, understanding and managing your feeling, then expressing yourself in a way that will strengthen your relationships. It's a way of articulating what you believe while also allowing room for differences. Overall, assertiveness is a way of being your true self while also becoming closer to others.
How To Avoid Being a "Momster" With Our Kids
I recently sat down with Lindsay Aerts of KSL's "The Mom Show" to discuss some ideas from my book "The Assertiveness Guide for Women," specifically assertiveness in parenting. We talked about how difficult it is can be to express ourselves to our children is ways that are effective and firm but still kind; no one wants to be a nag, a "momster," but sometimes it's a real challenge to keep our patience.
The 3 Communication Stances: Are You a Doormat, Sword, or Lantern?
There are three stances we can take when communicating in difficult circumstances. The lantern is the goal for all communication. A lantern values her own feelings and thoughts but is also mindful of and sensitive toward those of others. Individuals with a doormat stance often allow their own needs and feelings to be trampled on. Those with a sword stance are perhaps too vocal, even pushy, about their views, as they express them in ways that are harsh and alienating to others.
How Expressing Difference Brings Connection
How is differentiation of self related to assertiveness? When a woman asserts herself, she is differentiating her needs, thoughts, feelings, or wants from another person. She is essentially saying, “I’m think something different than you. I have other feelings than you do. I’m not you.” True assertiveness, as I define it, means that this is done in a way that’s not alienating or rude but still clearly makes those differences known.