Blog
25 Things NOT to Say to a Loved One Leaving the Church
There are some common phrases that believing loved ones say to loved ones leaving the Church that are often hurtful, even when they are said with positive intent. I’ve also worked with many people who have left the Church that long to hear certain thing from their family members.Here are 2 lists: what NOT TO say and TO say to a loved one leaving the Church. There’s an option to download PDF version that you can print out and share.
The Highest & Holiest Calling: Q.MORE Podcast
I was thrilled to speak with Rosemary Card about motherhood, marriage, and cultural expectations of women within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Going off of my TEDxOgden Talk "The Costs of Idealizing Motherhood," we discussed some of the nuances of what it looks like to be a woman in the Church.
Idealizing Motherhood: The Sisterhood Podcast
Back in October, Allyson and Tiffany of "The Sisterhood Podcast" discussed my TEDx Ogden Talk entitled "The Costs of Idealizing Motherhood"on their show. Later, they were kind enough to have me on an episode to tell more about what inspired my talk.
Raising Teens in a Mixed Faith Family: Marriage on a Tightrope Podcast
Following up on our last discussion about communicating with believing family members, I again sat down with Kattie and Allan of the "Marriage on a Tightrope" podcast to talk about some of the challenges of raising teenagers in a mixed faith family.
Communicating With Believing Family Members: Marriage On A Tightrope Podcast
I recently sat down with Kattie and Allan of the "Marriage On a Tightrope" podcast to discuss ways to tell your family or loved ones when you or your spouse have experienced a shift or transition in your faith. This can be a very sensitive and painful subject for families, so it's important to broach it in a way that shows respect.
Avoiding Unrighteous Dominion: Mormon Marriages Podcast
I recently sat down with Nate and Angilyn Bagley to discuss issues relating to unrighteous dominion in marriages. This phrase comes from the scripture in Doctrine & Covenants 121:9 that reads, "[w]e have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority...they will begin to recognize unrighteous dominion."
A Healer's Healing Journey: Mormon Matters Podcast
I sat down with my friend and host of Mormon Matters podcast, Dan Wotherspoon for a one-on-one interview about my own life and faith journey. Talk about vulnerable. I often talk about specific topics as an "expert" but rarely interview solely about my own life and faith process.Here's a snippet of how Dan Wotherspoon describes this episode: "She has faced heartbreak and sadness, loss of a sense of her own place within the universe and God’s plan, difficulties navigating career and family and church and all it’s pre-prescribed roles for women, and much more. All of these, however, have been essential in her becoming such an effective therapist and insightful and sought-after teacher and speaker. In this in-depth interview about her life and careers, and her family and church lives, as well, Julie allows us a glimpse into her own journey with faith and Mormonism and how, through many difficulties, she has come to the grounding she has found—a sense of calling to this particular life among these particular people. As you listen, I know that you’ll be moved by her story, her emotion, her courage, and her emergence as a healer extraordinaire."
Protecting Our Loved Ones in Ecclesiastical Situations: Mormon Matters Podcast
I had the opportunity to share my thoughts on a recent episode of the "Mormon Matters" podcast; I joined other LDS therapists to talk about ways that we can ensure ourselves and our families are protected in ecclesiastical situations. With the #MeToo movement and other instances of high-profiled men abusing their position of power to take advantage of vulnerable people, it's time we take a look at the dynamics of how all of this applies to Mormonism. The purpose of our discussion was not to instill paranoia or fear that dominates our thoughts, but instead to empower Mormon families to be smart and safe in how they approach ecclesiastical settings.
Mormon Bishops Are Not Therapists: KUER News
In the fallout of the news that former White House Staff Secretary Rob Porter was physically violent to both his ex-wives, some have begun to question the wisdom of LDS Bishops counseling women in abusive relationships (reports indicate both women were encouraged to stay with their husbands). Working with women in private practice, I've heard of this kind of thing happening. It's embarrassing, it's infuriating, and it's my hope that this cultural moment of awareness and the #MeToo movement can spark social change. I shared some of my thoughts on this subject with KUER news.
LDS Bishops' Interviews & Sexuality: Mormon Land Podcast
The #MeToo hashtag (and the subsequent exposing of many high-profile figures as sexual predators) has given us as a society a lot to grapple with. From a Latter-day Saint perspective, some are questioning how appropriate it is for bishops to be talking about sexual matters with young people (particularly girls). I recently sat down with former LDS bishop Richard Ostler to talk about these critical issues for the Mormon Land Podcast. Here are some highlights from our discussion:
Assertiveness & Women's Sexuality: Mormon Sex Info Podcast
Sometimes Mormon culture seems to perpetuate the idea that women exist solely as a helpmeet or support person for others (namely their husband and children). We often define ourselves in relation to other people, and while it's wonderful to be focused on relationships, we may unintentionally begin to lose sight of own selves. When it comes
Mormon Women Family, Work, and Faith: Deseret News
I was pleased to have my thoughts included in a recent Deseret News article that focused on a few themes I am very interested in: aspirational shame for Mormon women, the wage gap, motherhood, and partnership. Here are some of the ideas that I shared:
Mormon Culture and The Problem of Assertiveness: A Thoughtful Faith Podcast
As a therapist, one of my favorite things to observe and write about is the intersection of religious beliefs and mental/emotional health. That's why I was so excited to sit down with Gina Colvin of "A Thoughtful Faith" podcast and discuss Mormon culture in terms of assertiveness, specifically challenges LDS women may experience when it comes to being assertive. Here are some of the main themes from our conversation:
Mormons and Shame: When You Feel You Don't Measure Up to the Ideal
There is nothing wrong with teaching ideals and one could argue that that is the primary job of religious institutions. However, in real life, holding up ideals often leaves members never feeling “good enough” because they have not achieved the ideal righteous Mormon life. Chronic feelings of “never good enough” because your life doesn’t look like an Ensign magazine cover, your child has left the Church, your spouse isn’t committed to church callings, you’re struggling with the word of wisdom, you’re having difficulty forgiving someone, you’re not a good provider, or you’re not an attentive mother or father, can erode our whole sense of self.