Blog
"My Life Didn't Turn Out as Planned, Now What?"
A mid-life Mormon Mom, Elizabeth, thought life would turn out a certain way if she did the right things: marry, stay home with her children. Her husband is struggling with a porn problem and now, she facing the possibility of divorce. She asks me for help in knowing how to find herself and prepare for her next steps.
My Response: When I Became a Mother, Patriarchy Let Me Down
This post is in response to the Huff Post article “When I became a mother, feminism let me down” by Samantha Johnson. http://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/samantha-johnson/when-i-became-a-mother-feminism-let-me-down/We are functioning in a society that pretends that men aren't going to grow up to be fathers.Patriarchy denies that caring and connection with other people are vital for the well-being of humanity, including men.
Mormon Mom Asks "How Do I Respond to My 3 Yr Old Masturbating?"
Ask Dr. Julie Hanks: "When my son was just 2 I found him humping his hands just after a nap. I was shocked but knew enough about the negative effects of shaming that I didn't freak out or scold him. I spent the next year just kindly distracting him away from self pleasuring. When I'd find him (always after waking up) I'd avoid saying anything in words because I didn't know WHAT to say that would be appropriate and positive."
Making the Transition From Mom to Grandma: Studio 5
Everyone gushes about how being a grandma is the best thing ever...and honestly, I was skeptical. But...it IS the best. It's like parenting, but only the good parts of parenting--the love, the joy, the snuggles. Grandparent is like parenting, but without the work, stress & expectations. It's only love & joy. My friends at KSL's Studio 5 invited me to show off baby pictures and gush about Kate, and to share some professional advice and tips I've learned in becoming a grandma.
Love & Gender Equality at Home: Sunstone Symposium Audio
Listen to Dr. Julie Hanks' Sunstone presentation. Early relationship patterns lay the framework for our identity development, social interactions, and assumptions about others. If gender equality is to be achieved within Mormon culture and theology, it must first be modeled in family relationships. Cultural Transformation Theory provides a framework for moving from a domination model that values “masculine” over “feminine” to a partnership model where relationships are based on connection and equality.
Preventing Holiday Burnout: Mom Show on KSL Radio
Are you feeling overwhelmed by high expectations and "shoulds"? I sat down with Lindsay Aerts, host of KSL Radio's The Mom Show to share tips for moms to prevent holiday burnout. Here are a few topics we cover
How to Navigate Political Talk During Holiday Gatherings: Interview with Shape.com
If someone starts a conversation leading down a road you know will be bumpy, feel free to duck out—just acknowledge their comment first, says Hanks. "No one can engage you in an intense political discussion without your willingness to enter that discussion," she says. "You can be really respectful and validate or hear them and then change the subject."
Our Definition of "Good Mothering" is Bad For Mental Health
Preparing to be a “good mother” is emphasized in Primary, Young Women’s, and continues as a central thread woven throughout Relief Society lessons and discussions. Unfortunately, it turns out that many of our beliefs about “good mothering” are correlated with poor maternal mental health. When I first read findings from a study published in The Journal of Child and Family Studies that suggest that five specific beliefs about mothering–essentialism, fulfillment, stimulation, challenging, and child-centered–are correlated with poorer mental health among mothers with young children, I thought to myself, “These beliefs align with how we, in America, and in LDS culture define good mothering!”
From Roles to Stewardship: Reframing Mormon Gender Roles
Over the past several months, I’ve noticed that in LDS circles, we often use the term “role” in reference to gender. From official talks over the pulpit, to blog posts, to casual conversations, it seems we’re always hearing about “gender roles”: role of men and women, role of mothers and fathers. The more I’ve noticed its use, the more uneasy I feel when I hear the word “role. ”